“I’m so STUPID!” -- three heartbreaking words you never want to hear your kids say.  Yet, if your kids struggle in school, you are likely to hear these horrific words come out on more than one occasion as they mentally (and often physically) chastise themselves for forgetting something that they feel as if they should already know.

The truth is that many of these struggling kids are anything but stupid.  In fact, many are actually GIFTED.  They are just dyslexic. 

Often, these are kids with incredible acting skills…storytelling skills…survival skills…intrapersonal skills…athletic skills…math skills…musical skills…art skills…building skills...mechanical skills...and so much more.  These are kids who absolutely SHINE in so many other areas…who are bright, capable, fun, inquisitive, hard-working, talented, and personable…but who are also suffering from memory, retrieval, and directional issues, among others. 

Because of their dyslexic tendencies, many of these kids have a really difficult time learning to read, remembering irregular (and even regular) spelling patterns, writing letters correctly, and memorizing just about any random facts or figures (especially math facts).  They can also have trouble quickly retrieving what they do know, making timed tests a virtual nightmare.  To make matters worse, what they finally manage to “master” one day is often quickly forgotten by the next.  As a result, they soon discover that they must continuously practice/review any random facts, methods, or processes they wish to retain.  Otherwise, their “neat-freak memory banks” will deem it "useless information" and quickly release it once more. 

To get an idea of what it's like to be dyslexic and have retention and/or retrieval issues, imagine having everything you ever put on your computer, tablet, or phone quickly relegated to the recycle bin and then erased permanently if you didn't bother to look at it for a couple of days.  All of your pictures.  Emails.  Texts.  Calendar events.  Notes.  Games.  Addresses.  Everything.  This is what it’s like for many dyslexics.  Every new process is a bit slower because they have to go through an additional step (the recycle bin) to get to it.  And what they don’t continue to use (or attach to a special memory), they lose, often within days of successfully acquiring it.  They know this.  And they know that most of their peers and loved ones don't have to deal with this.  And so they make the horrific and life-altering conclusion that loving parents and caring teachers cringe violently in response to – “I’m so STUPID.”

“You are certainly NOT stupid,” I quickly responded to the last child I heard mutter this.  (He was frustrated over continuing to misspell the same three letter word over and over again as he worked on writing a story.)  “You know how to fix things, build forts, hunt for food, take care of farm animals, play baseball, tell funny stories, read, make friends, etc.  You can do SO MANY things!  Writing, particularly spelling, may not come easily to you, but that does not make you stupid.  EVERYONE has stuff they have to work harder at than others.  This is just your thing to work at.”

He smiled at this news and went back to working on his story.

But I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break for him.  With at least 9 more years of school ahead of him, he will have many struggles still to come.  He will be constantly asked to do all of the things that are most difficult for him -- write complete sentences and essays to prove he has mastered the information taught, memorize random facts in multiple subjects, spit back information quickly and accurately with time constraints in place, etc.  As he does so, he will have to continuously battle the voice in his head that has already started whispering and nagging (when it's not screaming)..."I'm so STUPID!"

If you are working with a dyslexic child, let him or her know that he or she is NOT stupid.  Remember to praise his or her strengths as well as to acknowledge and help him or her with his or her weaknesses.  Don’t let difficulty with school, particularly with memorization, ruin him or her.  Teach him or her how to work hard for what he or she wants and to come up with ways to compensate for his or her particular weaknesses.  Let him or her know that he or she is not alone and that you will do everything you can to help him or her on his or her journey.  Pledge to be supportive and patient, loving and kind, and, most of all, unrelenting in your belief in him or her and your expectations for him or her.  Show up to school meetings, insist upon the accommodations your child needs, and refuse to let your child fall through the cracks.

Dyslexics can be extremely high achievers despite the difficulties that they face.  Just look at Henry Winkler, Jennifer Aniston, William Hewlett, Charles Schwab, Leonardo da Vinci, John Lennon, Henry Ford, Agatha Christie, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison. No one would dare to call them “stupid”…at least not anymore!

Wishing you all the best and much success,
Katy Huller

Author of Kinders Can! READ and WRITE!, Get Your Kids READING and WRITING! 2 and 3 Letter Words!, Tricks Practice Cards, More Tricks Practice Cards, and Alphabasics!

To read more literacy posts by Katy Huller, click HERE!

Are your kids driving you CRAZY during homework time?  Are they staring out the window... hopping out of their chairs... complaining... crying... fighting... singing... dancing... talking... or entertaining themselves with whatever they can get their hands on???  Do you find yourself exasperated... STRESSED OUT... and struggling to keep control???  If so, it's time to step in and end the afternoon drama once and for all.  Below are some tips to help you...and your kids!

1. Find a quiet place for your kids to work.  Some kids simply can't focus when there are other noises around.  This can include noises nearby, in the next room, or even outside.  Set up camp in the quietest room you can find, and eliminate any extra noise during homework time.  Make your kids' homework time "quiet time" for the whole family, if necessary.  Let any neighborhood kids know not to come around during that time as well!

2.  Clear off the work table and empty room of distractions.  Kids who are easily distracted need to be seated at a table free from clutter and temptations.  Ideally, you don't want anything to be within reach (or view) of your kids except for the materials needed to complete their current assignments.  The room and/or rooms you choose should be as neat, orderly, and temptation-free as possible.   Remove toys, close blinds, have your kids face a boring wall,  etc.  The only thing you want to catch your kids' eyes during homework time is the assignment at hand!

2. Add purpose!  Explain the importance of the work at hand so your kids understand why they are doing it and what it will do for them. You want your kids to see the work as beneficial rather than a punishment of sorts.  Get your kids excited about learning something new and/or getting even better at something they already know but have been asked to practice.  Talk about learning and homework EXCITEDLY, as if they are GOOD things!

3. Take away fear!  Reassure your kids that you will help as needed...and follow through on this promise.  Make sure you don't belittle your kids by saying things like, “You KNOW this!” or “I can’t believe you forgot this!”  Even if your kids did know it, just go back over it until they remember it again.  Many kids have memory and/or retrieval issues which cause them to forget things easily.  By taking time to calmly reexplain whatever they have forgotten, you will be adding trust and building up your relationship. You will also be making future assignments a little less scary!  If you find you can't calmly help for whatever reason, think about hiring a tutor or asking another adult to step in.

4. Break up long assignments.  Some kids FREAK OUT over a page full of sentences to read, math problems to solve, etc.!  If your kids get easily overwhelmed, break up long assignments into more manageable parts.  Cover up all but the section your kids are working on, and offer quick mini-breaks as each section is completed. You might let your kids play a quick game of tic-tac-toe, run around the yard, shoot 3 baskets, etc.

5. Set behavior goals BEFORE you begin!  Discuss what you expect from your kids BEFORE they have a chance to misbehave!  Have them help you come up with a list of rules, rewards, and consequences, and STICK TO THEM!  Use a behavior chart to help keep track of good/bad behaviors, and make sure you FOLLOW THROUGH with the appropriate rewards and/or consequences...EVERY TIME!   If your kids know they can delay homework time, get it reduced, get you to do it for them, etc, they will be sure to hassle you until you give in and do what they desire!  Take control of the situation and remember that YOU are the parent!  Set the rules, stay calm, and remain firm but pleasant when it comes to enforcing them.  Let your kids know that they are the ones deciding their fate.  They can comply with the rules and earn rewards...or challenge the rules and earn consequences.  Their choice.  You are just there to enforce what you have already agreed to!

6. Play “Beat the Timer!”  If your kids just can't seem to stop talking, playing, complaining, etc., grab a timer and see if your kids can get their work done before it goes off!  Praise whoever gets the most done and consider offering a reward!  This technique can really help competitive kids who have trouble staying focused get busy!

7. Find the best work time for YOUR child!  Some kids work best first thing in the morning or immediately after school.  Others work best after having a snack or completing a physical activity of some sort.  Get to know when your kids do their best work and plan accordingly!

Life is too short to spend your child rearing years being CRAZY!  Follow the steps above UNTIL THEY WORK!  Be PATIENT -- change doesn't always happen overnight.  The more CONSISTENT you are, the sooner your sanity should be restored.  And remember -- your kids may not retain everything they learn during these homework sessions, but they are SURE TO REMEMBER how you made them FEEL during them!

All the best and much success,
Katy Huller

Author of Kinders Can! READ and WRITE!, Get Your Kids READING and WRITING! 2 and 3 Letter Words!, Tricks Practice Cards, and Alphabasics!

Is your child having comprehension issues? If so, you need to figure out why.  Kids who struggle with comprehension issues usually don’t just “grow out of it” without at least a little intervention.  If you want to help your child, you need to figure out what the true problem is and work to solve it.  Below are a few things to check for...and what you can to do to help fix them.

1.  Check to see if your child can read the text he or she is trying to comprehend fluently and accurately.  To comprehend anything well, your child must first be able to read it.  If your child is having to work extremely hard just to figure out what the text at hand says, he or she will probably not be able to comprehend it very well.  Likewise, if he or she is able to read most of the text but is MISCALLING a lot of important words while doing so, his or her comprehension is likely to suffer as well.  After all, miscalling even a few crucial words can drastically change the meaning of the text being read.  Failure to stop at periods and/or pause at commas can also mess with your child's ability to comprehend the text at hand.

What you can do:  Have your child read the passage he or she is having difficulty comprehending OUT LOUD to you.  Listen carefully to see if he or she is struggling to read the words, miscalling words, and/or flying through punctuation marks.  If necessary, help correct any of these errors. If you don't feel comfortable helping your child with the mechanics of learning to read, consider hiring a good reading tutor. Since vision and/or convergence issues can play a part in many reading issues, especially with regard to miscalling similar-looking words and/or flying through punctuation marks, you might also consider getting your child's eyes checked.  In any case, your child MUST be able to read accurately and fluently to get the most out of whatever text is in front of him or her.

2.      Check to see if your child has any vocabulary, language, and/or processing issues.  Kids who can read all of the words on a page correctly but who don’t understand what they are reading as they go through the passage at hand often sneak under the “trouble with reading radar" because everything "sounds good" when they read.  Unfortunately, "sounding good" is not the same thing as comprehending well.  Oftentimes, this is due to  underlying vocabulary, language, and/or processing issues. 

What you can do:  Pull out a few key words from the passage and see if your child can define them and/or use them in a sentence.  If he or she has trouble, vocabulary issues could be to blame.  Don't forget to ask about peculiar phrases as well, such as “burning with anger” or “cracking up.”   Some kids read these quite literally and get an entirely different picture of what is going on in the passage as a result!   If your child has trouble understanding words and/or phrases, begin working to improve his or her vocabulary, language, and background knowledge.  Talk, talk, talk to your child about EVERYTHING!  Explain any weird phrases that pop up.  Don’t forget to READ new stories and/or passages to your child daily as well!  A good vocabulary, an adequate grasp of the language, and a decent amount of background knowledge on a variety of topics are all crucial to understanding text of all sorts. 

If your child has a clear understanding of what various words and phrases mean but still has trouble comprehending the text at hand, he or she may have a processing issue.  See what you can do to help your child use his or her strengths to overcome whatever processing issue is at hand.  For instance, some kids can't comprehend text read aloud; let these kids read silently before asking them to answer any questions.  Other kids MUST read aloud to comprehend what they are reading; let them do so.  Help your child figure out when he or she comprehends best and encourage him or her to do more of whatever seems to help him or her the most!

3.      Check to see if your child has short-term and/or working memory issues.  Kids with dyslexic tendencies and other learning difficulties often have short-term and/or working memory issues.  This can affect their ability to recall what was read.  Even though they might read the sentences at hand beautifully, kids with short-term and/or working memory issues may quickly forget each sentence read as they move on to the next.  Obviously, this can greatly limit a child’s ability to answer questions about the text read when they finally get to the end of a story or passage.  The longer the story or passage, the harder it is for someone with short-term and/or working memory issues to remember and/or comprehend what was read.

What you can do:  After a sentence or two, ask your child if he or she can remember what he or she just read.  Kids with memory issues will often have to look back at the previous sentences to remember.  In many cases, they’ll simply read back the sentences verbatim to answer your question.  If this is the case, try covering up the sentences previously read the next time you ask.  See if your child can recall anything when he or she can't look back at the words.  If your child looks at you blankly and/or can’t remember what he or she just read about, encourage him or her to begin making "mental movies" as he or she reads each sentence.  Sometimes the mental visual is enough to help kids remember what they are reading about so they can absorb the information better.  Other times, kids need a more concrete reminder.  If this is the case for your child, allow him or her to draw a little picture in the margin (or on a separate piece of paper) to represent the main idea of whatever happened or was discussed in each paragraph.  In either case, remind your child that it’s okay to look back at the passage read when answering comprehension questions, but that he or she needs to TRY to remember as much as possible while reading the text.  With this said, encourage your child to look back through the text whenever he or she simply can’t remember something – a date, a name, a place, etc.  Guessing is generally NOT a good idea for kids with memory issues!

4.      Check to see if your child is paying attention and/or racing through the passage.  Kids with attention issues who struggle with comprehension might read the passage beautifully but “tune out” and/or think of other things while they are reading.  Others (with or without attention issues), might simply race through whatever they are reading, forgetting to soak up all the details while they do so.   For many of these readers, the goal seems to be more about simply getting through the passage than understanding and/or learning from it. 

What you can do:  Listen to your child read.  If he or she is rushing through the text, slow him or her down.  Make sure he or she is stopping at periods and other ending marks, as well as pausing at commas, dashes, and semi-colons.  Remind your child that someone is trying to tell him or her about something and that he or she needs to pay attention while reading in order to understand the message and/or story being told.  Encourage your child to make a mental movie of the story while reading to help him or her keep his or her full attention on the text at hand.  Ask questions afterward to ensure he or she paid attention and understood the story and/or text read.  Have your child reread the text if necessary.  Let him or her know that it is important to go back and reread text if he or she finds he or she no longer knows what is going on in the story.  Remind your child that it's not just about getting to the end of the passage; he or she needs to actually know what the passage was about when he or she gets to the end!

All in all, there are many reasons why some kids have trouble comprehending text.  If you are unable to help your child, search for someone who can.  If you believe your child has a condition that requires medical intervention, talk with your pediatrician.  There is little value in knowing how to read if one can’t also comprehend what is read.  Do whatever you can to ensure you child learns to not only read the words before him or her but to comprehend them as well.  It will be time well spent!

All the best and much success,

Katy Huller

Author of Kinders Can! READ and WRITE!, Tricks Practice Cards, Alphabasics, and Kids Can! READ and WRITE! 2 and 3 Letter Words!

To help your kids tell the difference between a "b" and a "d," tell them that the "b" has the /b/ /b/ bat first, while the "d" has the /d/ /d/ daddy's face (or the /d/ /d/ donut) first.  Then have them practice telling you which is which and why!  If they still continue to switch the two, keep reminding them of this trick and continue to quiz them!  (Old habits can be hard to break!)

All the best and much success,
Katy Huller

Ready or not, Halloween is coming!  My daughter has already picked out her costume.  She wants to be Yoda from Star Wars.  This suits her.  She’s tiny in stature but mighty in spirit.  Still, when she goes trick-or-treating this year, she is hoping to be greeted with TREATS, not TRICKS.  This makes sense -- how many kids that you know of would look forward to hiking through hilly neighborhoods on Halloween if they thought they were going to get a bunch of nasty tricks rather than treats? 

The same is true of reading.  If your kids discover they are going to get "tricked" rather than "treated" each time they try to make their way through written text, most will quickly lose interest, and many will stop wanting to read altogether.  After all, it won't be fun.  It won't even make sense. 

It will be confusing.  And frustrating.  And they won't want to do it.

Can you blame them?  Who among us looks forward to doing things that are hard for us...that don't make sense...that confuse us...that make us feel stupid...that scare us...that make the people we love most seem angry and frustrated around us?

Not many, that's for sure.

If you want to make reading more of a "treat" than a "trauma" for your kids, you must prepare them for the words they will encounter on their journeys before you send them out to discover the world of reading on their own. In other words, you must turn the "tricks" they are sure to come across into treats!

To make reading more of a "treat" for your kids, you must teach them more than letters, sounds, and "sight words."  You must teach them to blend sounds together, starting on the left and moving to the right.  And, equally as important but often overlooked or introduced way too late, you must make sure your kids are equipped to deal with the many "tricks" they are sure to meet along the way -- letters and/or letter combinations that create new sounds when they appear together or in a certain position in words than they normally make when alone. Combinations like sh, ch, th, er, or, ou, tion, oo, aw, ay, etc.  And don’t forget “sleepy e,” “2 vowels,” and “le endings.”  Y at the end of a short or long word is another doozie you need to remember to teach them.  There are many others as well.  I’ve counted up to 37 so far, but I’m sure there are more.   

One or more of these "tricks" are hiding in almost every word!  If you skip this part of their training and rely on teaching "sight words" instead, your kids (especially those with less than stellar visual memories) may just turn to the “dark side” and begin guessing their way through unfamiliar text, saying such things as “why” for very, “tell” for tall, “deserved” for discovered, and/or “admit” for amount. You might even hear them confuse the word I with A!  "Had" might become did.  "Take" might become like. Such scandalous switches are common among those who have been sent to battle words before they have been adequately trained to even spar with them.  They simply don't have the tools or training they need to deal with such skilled adversaries. Before long, one previously "known" word starts looking like the next, and these untrained "readers" either give up or resort to spitting out words from their mental Roladexes each time they see a word with a somewhat familiar letter, shape, or size.

Don't let this happen to your young Jedi.  Teach your kids what they really need to know to read the words they will soon encounter -- letters, sounds, “tricks,” a good blending/segmenting technique, and a few common “outlaw words” (words that can’t be sounded out even if you know the “tricks”).  If you teach them these skills and give them lots of guided practice using them, you should see your kids' reading habits skyrocket.  You should see them turn into excellent readers who get "treated" as they read rather than "tricked."   And, as reading the text before them becomes easier and easier, you should see your kids learn to love interacting with books and literature, rather than racing off to avoid them.  Or crying.  Or complaining.  Or throwing a king-sized fit.

Of course, you'll also have to make sure your kids have a good vocabulary, adequate background knowledge, and a few other key reading ingredients.  After all, being able to decode words effectively is only the first step.  To be real readers, your kids must also be able to understand them! 

Regardless of where your kids are today, start giving them the skills they need to move forward.  They are counting on you.  Don't end their training early and neglect to teach them what they really need to know to read the words around them.  Don't send them out to battle a book only halfway prepared.

As my daughter loves to quote from Yoda, "Try not.  Do.  Or do not.  There is no try.” 

Train your kids.  Teach them what they need to know to be successful readers and writers.  Send them out this Halloween and every day thereafter equipped to turn any "trick" into a treat.  You won't be sorry. 


All the best and much success…and may the Force be with you!

Katy Huller